Mistakes Are D-E-L-I-C-A-T-E

Since I recently wrote about perfectionism, I thought I'd share some useful tips on how we can prevent perfectionism in children. According to family psychologist John F. Taylor, Ph.D., the trick is to encourage a healthy attitude toward mistakes in young children. Using the acronym DELICATE, he suggests that parents and teachers use the following statements when a child gets discouraged when he/she makes a mistake.

And what's to stop us grownups from saying these to ourselves too?

"Your mistakes are ... "

Decreasing --

"Look how far you've come"

"Things will get easier as you continue to practice"

Expected --

"That's why pencils have erasers"

"Everybody makes mistakes; nobody is perfect"

Learning Tools --

"Success means any forward progress"

"What can you learn from this experience for next time?"

Incompletions --

"You didn't run out of talent; you just ran out of time"

"You're just not done with it yet; we'll work on it again later"

Caused --

"Let's see what's giving you the trouble here"

"Every mistake has a cause"

Accidental --

"You can't make a mistake on purpose"

"All mistakes are just accidents"

Temporary --

"You're just not ready for this right now"

"This doesn't mean that you can't do it better later"

Effort Proofs --

"Mistakes only prove you're trying"

"Mistakes are benchmarks on the path of effort"

(Special thanks to John F. Taylor, Ph.D. for permission to reproduce his material. Dr. Taylor is an expert on parenting children with ADD and chronic misbehavior. You can visit his website for more information.)